It's just a date, right? A day in the calendar that is there to remind you that a year has passed by. It's a like a first of january but only for you. It means something only to you, or at least to all the other people who have the same birthday. I guess it may also mean something to my parents, they have been parents for over 20 years now.

How was it like to be 19? AMAZING. INCREDIBLE. BETTER than I ever imagined. if 2009 was great, being 19 was even better. It seems to me that every single day after April 2009 has outdone the day before. Granted, it had its very awful days this year, but it had wonderful ones as well. I crossed the Atlantic for the first time in my life. I had never traveled so much in my life as I did as a 19 year old.

But it is not only Europe that made 19 the best year so far. I lived so much when I was back home. I did so many new things. I not only existed, I really lived. I took every chance I could and seized it as if I didn't know if I had another day to live. I loved, I cried, I yelled, I laughed, I did really silly things and got away with it.

It wasn't all sugar, flowers and lots of colors. it had some really sucky times, but they didn't outdo the goodtimes. You can't have it all in life. I learned that, or at least I was reminded of it this year. In order to live certain things, you must sacrifice other experiences. You make your bed and you lay in it. All you can do is hope that it will be worth what you give up. I sorta knew this, but it was only at 19 that really understood what it meant, how it felt.

I don't regret a single choice I made in my 19s. I loved them. I enjoyed them. I lived them at the fullest of my abilities. 19 was one of those years when you learn that Yoda was right. There's no try, just Do. And I did.

So, as a say goodbye to my teens and began the third decade of my life, I can say i was really happy. Yes it wasn't always easy, but come on, who has it easy as a teenager? It is not about having it easy, it's about looking back on those years and saying I have come a long way. I grew up, not only in inches but as a human being and I can say I start the third decade of my life with some sense of purpose.

I begin 20 not as clean slate. I have baggage and I have come to understand that baggage is not always a bad thing, it means we have lived and we have learned and we are ready to take all from the experiences behind us in order to move forward, to grow, to set new goals and overcome new challenges.

Yes, this will not be an average birthday for me. My cellphone won't ring as often as it did last year, I will not be hugged by Majo, or my mom, and it is very unlikely that my dad will sing me happy birthday on the phone. Actually, it is very unlikely that most of my friends back home will call (they can all buy me a couple of beers for the price of that phonecall). It's ok, I will have late birthday hugs once I am back and I am quite sure I'll see some of my friends on Belgium that day and have a good time.

I say goodbye to my teens and start my 20s. It doesn't seem like such a big deal. Yes, I am somewhat nostalgic of this last year, but I am also looking forward to this new year. I start 20 with the conviction that you can have whatever you like, as long as you work for it. Last year I posted Je ne regrette rien by Edith Piaff as my hello birthday song. This year I really mean that (i didnt quite mean it last year, tho i wanted to), and I shall leave you with this.